Editor's Note: This is not our regular offering, but Tisha B’Av is not a regular day. Hillel Fuld – tech blogger, X-poster, Israeli and father of five – is the brother of Ari Fuld, who was murdered by Palestinian terrorists in 2018. His words, we suspect, will resonate with Israelis, and we believe we, as Americans, should do our best to feel what they feel. We are unlikely to succeed, but we will try.
I need to get something off my chest, and this only became clear to me 45 seconds ago.
I think I speak for a lot of people when I say the following. I am DEEPLY traumatized. For me, the trauma from losing my older brother to terror really never went away but it definitely became bearable. Life was going on. But then it came to an immediate stop on October 7th, 2023, the day my heart was ripped from my body over and over.
So, what happened 45 seconds ago that made me realize this? A friend of mine reached out. He produced a movie that he’ll be screening in synagogues across America on Tisha B’Av, the saddest day on the Jewish calendar, a fast day that starts in a few hours. He sent me a private link to watch the movie. He promised me it had no gore, no atrocities, and that I’d be safe watching it.
I started the movie. I forced myself to keep watching. 5 minutes. 10 minutes. 15 minutes. But then I asked myself why I was doing this to myself, and I stopped the movie. I simply could not. And no, there was no gore, no blood, just a whole lot of unbearable tragedy.
The movie had many people, heroes who told their story from that dark day. There were many positive messages in the movie, and I totally see what they were trying to accomplish with this movie. But I simply could not keep watching.
10/7 Hasn’t Ended
This isn’t behind us yet for us to look back at it. We are still in it! That day hadn’t ended. The mourning and devastation hasn’t ended. Our national suffering hasn’t ended. This entire country is traumatized. The government will have to spend BILLIONS after this war to deal with the PTSD of this entire country. Tens of billions.
I still find it hard to register that October 7th happened. That thousands of Gazans, and I chose that word carefully because it is an absolute lie to say it was only Hamas terrorists, came in and massacred families. And while they did it, as many survivors have attested, they laughed. A few survivors have said that among all the bloodshed and cruelty, the part that sent shivers down their spines was the laughter. As these animals raped and beheaded men, women, and children, as they burned families alive, they laughed. Hysterically. This for them was the highlight of their life.
But I can’t watch a movie about it because we’re still in it.
We are doing everything we can to teach our enemies a lesson that gone are the days that you can just massacre Jews and not pay a price. They must pay a price big enough that they will know that they made a very big mistake on October 7th. Our enemies need to bleed enough that they can no longer say that they’ll do 10/7 over and over. They need to fear Israel. They need to know what happens when you invade our country and murder our people. In any normal society, the entire world would stand behind anyone trying to eliminate that evil. And you know what? They would. They’d stand behind anyone, anyone except the Jews.
I’m going to say this as clearly as I can and yes, I am speaking from a place of pain, unbearable pain, pain and trauma, but I still have to say it. If you are calling for Israel to hold its fire before eliminating and obliterating Hamas, you are making a clear statement, “I know full well what they did on October 7th, 2023, and I am completely ok with them doing it again and again.” That’s what a ceasefire with Hamas means.
I have not gone down there to see the houses and cars burned to a crisp, to smell the death in the air. I couldn’t. I still can’t. I can’t watch or read about the atrocities. I block anyone who sends me that horror. From my perspective, those are snuff films, with one small difference. The atrocity in those films? The victims are my family members.
Israel’s Responsibility to its People
Until Israel’s enemies, Iran’s puppets are a thing of the past, it is not only Israel’s right to eliminate them wherever they are, it is Israel’s responsibly! It’s responsibility to its citizens. Its responsibility to those families. Its responsibility to the world! What Hamas did on that day, and I mean this whole heartedly, is the cruelest barbarism the world has EVER known. Ever.
Yes, ever!
There are many Holocaust survivors who were interviewed after 10/7 who all said the same thing. “Even the Nazis didn’t do this…” The Nazis drank themselves to sleep. Deep down they were ashamed.
Hamas live streamed it and is deeply proud of October 7th. So let me be very clear. There is not ONE, not ONE other country on this planet that would have to justify a war like this after a day like that. Not one. Except Israel, the only Jewish state.
I am far from being able to watch movies about October 7th. Maybe I’ll never get there. I’m unable to hear the stories, watch the videos, or even see the pictures. Every time I accidentally see anything about that day, I am retraumatized! So yes, I know we will win this war and I know things will be ok, but I am far from there. I am far from being ok. This country is far from being ok. And the salt on the open wound is the fact that we can’t do what we need to do to eliminate the threat on our borders and ensure that 10/7 never happens again, because every step of the way, the global community puts wrenches in our wheels.
“Proportionate” Response
“Proportionate response”? What’s “proportionate” to murdering 1200 innocent people in their homes? What’s “proportionate” to raping mothers in front of their children and children in front of their mothers? What’s “proportionate” to beheading babies? There is no “proportionate” response to such barbarism. It doesn’t exist.
“Genocide” “Indiscriminate killing” “Starvation” Such lies! “Don’t go into Rafah or else!” The lies don’t stop. The deception never ends. Israel eliminates tens of terrorists. Hamas calls them kids and the world eats it up! The aftermath of 10/7, which continues till today, is almost as hard to believe as 10/7 was. There are two sides in this war and there is no option C. Israel who fights to live in peace and to remove the animals who raped our children from this planet before they do it again, but next time, it won’t only be Israel. Hamas who did what they did and aim to do it again and again. Those are your only two choices. Remaining silent today is the equivalent of witnessing firsthand what the Nazis did and turning a blind eye. Remaining silent and neutral in this war is immoral. Defending Hamas or demanding Israel cease its fire and not finish the job is immoral. Giving Israel anything but your FULL support is immoral.
And let’s say it as it is. Enough with the charade already. If, after October 7th, you don’t stand with Israel, you are actively encouraging Hamas to do it again. You are actively condoning the murder of Jews and encouraging them to do it again. If you don’t stand with Israel now, in our darkest hour, you stand with Hamas and pardon my French, but if you stand with rapists, murderers, and pedophiles who take pride in their “work”, well you are a terror-supporting, Jew-hating, mass murder-condoning piece of… and you will be remembered in history as such.
I am deeply traumatized, and the truth is, for this country and the Jewish people, trauma is the new normal because we are all traumatized. Anyone who knows what happened on October 7, 2023 should be deeply traumatized.
Stand With Israel
Stand with Israel when we need you most. Do what you can to help. We won’t forget it. If you don’t, history won’t forget it.
Tonight begins the 9th of Av, as I said, the saddest day on the Jewish calendar. I’ll be going to the Western Wall to pray. For 45 years, I fasted on this day but deep down, I didn’t really feel the pain we are supposed to feel on this day. How can I authentically mourn the destruction of a Temple I never saw and find very hard to relate to? This year, I will feel it in spades! This year, we experienced an entire year of the 9th of Av. This year, we are fasting under the very real threat of our enemies murdering us again like they always have. Iran threatening to attack on the 9th of Av.
They know what they’re doing. They know that this day is our most vulnerable. So tonight, I will begin my mourning and my fasting with a gaping hole in my heart and a deep prayer that God make this our last 9th of Av. That one year from now, we will dance again in the streets of Jerusalem and the prophecies of the Jewish people coming home will all have come true.
Tonight, I will try to embrace the pain and hope it’s not too unbearable. It will be. I know that. But tonight, for the first time in my life, the 9th of Av will be what it was supposed to be, a day on which we mourn and remember what our enemies did to us over and over. Tonight, this year, it won’t be hard to feel it. The only thing that’ll be difficult this year is to bear the unbearable pain that we feel as a nation. I wish you a meaningful fast if you’re fasting and if you’re not, spend a few moments to reflect on our history, specifically as it pertains to this day, the 9th of Av. Maybe even say a little prayer that we get past this. It can’t hurt.
The Jewish people need the strength to get through this dark time in our history. We’ve been through worse and came out on the other side, but getting through this will require real strength and dedication. We need all the prayers we can get.
Have a meaningful 9th of Av. I know I will.
